We’re so happy that we went to Naughty in Nawlins 2018—not because it was an ideal experience for us, but rather so we could reconfirm that it’s OK for us to swing in our own unique way. We commend Bob and Tess for dedicating so much of their time to supporting ethical non-monogamy. Naughty in Nawlins is extremely popular, and it’s obviously a meca for people who love this type of swinging. But it’s not for us. Our tribe isn’t here. And that’s totally fine.
We wish we could have melded with the thousands here. Maybe there were others here like us, but we didn’t find each other. We attended the evening dances (Wednesday Glow Party, Thursday Blackout Party, Friday Christmas Party, *Saturday Mardi Gras Party). We went to all the bar meet ups, but we must be hard-of-hearing or have soft voices because they were the least conducive places to meet people despite being crushed into a mass of sweaty, writhing, half-naked bodies.
Having facilitated speed dating at Camp Ravish a few months ago, we know the challenges and were looking forward to being forced to talk to people for a few minutes and then move on to someone else. We showed up on time for the first naked speed dating, but it was already full, so we were turned away. We went early to the first clothed speed dating, sat at a table, and awaited instructions. The facilitator handed out forms for us to fill-out on the couples we were to meet. The form listed “boob size”, “penis size”, “physique”, etc. Ummmm. We’re all clothed, and we’re not about to discuss those things in speed dating. The facilitator announced that she had just been assigned to coordinate the event so to forgive her for the disorganization. She also said that the event was to be capped at 25 couples. There were about 200 people in the room and seating for only about 50 people. She said that rather than having an organized progression, “just find a new couple every three minutes and talk to them.” As you can imagine, the popular couples got smothered while less popular couples got totally ignored. It turned into a mixer, and it actually wasn’t too bad for us because there was no loud music to interfere with the conversations.
The next day we went to naked speed dating. We relate the details in our podcast. In summary, it was well conducted, but it would have been more productive if we were clothed because the men would have focused on talking to me rather than touching my tits without permission. We also would have had pockets for holding the cards we were handed. We also tried the next clothed speed dating, but again, it wasn’t as well organized as the naked speed dating. That’s just our opinion.
For those who love to PARTAY, Naughty in Nawlins it’s the perfect event. Dozens of our lifestyle friends at home would love it here, and we’ll highly recommend it to them. If you like drinking, dancing, EDM, bar-crawls, frat-house hijinks until 3 am, and group sex in rooms full of mattresses on the floor, this is the place to be. If you like your non-monogamy without all those things, then you’ll feel out of place here.
If we had come here a few years ago, we would have been depressed after leaving the event. But now we’re happy because we can definitively check this off our list. (And we really do appreciate that there’s a place for people who like this kind of swinging.) We also now know where to NOT find our tribe.
We’re still hoping that there’s some reclusive group out there whom we’re seeking, or maybe we just need to keep trying to creating our own group. That’s what we attempt to do with our Cousette events; yet it takes so much work, time, and effort, and we’re still not sure we’re doing it as well as it could be done. If you want to help, let us know.
We love talking about ethical non-monogamy and enjoy meeting thoughtful people who want to expand the community. Feel free to reach out and chat us up. We’re just two people who are muddling their way though sexual sociality.